i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
