Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
