just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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