Plan B is the new Plan A
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
