Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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