Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
