why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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