Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize