Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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