you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
