I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
