at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
