You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
