I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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