Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm at about main and main street
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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