awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize