the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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