I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
