The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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