How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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