duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
