I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
