i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
