They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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