they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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