would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
