In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
