Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize