dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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