Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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