The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
