is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
