so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
