I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
