Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
