Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
