this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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