Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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