You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
