omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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