k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
