chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
