this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
