he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
