i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
