Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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