I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
