I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
