I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
