Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
