Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
