My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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