Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
