But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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