I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
