Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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