Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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