I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize