Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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