She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
soo... how was my night?
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