the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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