I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
